incorrigiblerobot:

A friend of ours took her two kids, a boy and a girl, to the toy store to buy some Playmobil Mystery Figures. As the name implies, it’s a Playmobil character but you don’t know what you’re going to get. Could be anything! Very exciting.
The boy, as kids do, had already decided he was sure he was going to get some specific figure - I’m not sure what, but it was a knight or pirate or something else that 6-year-olds like.
This is what he got.
It’s Death.
That’s right. Playmobil includes Death as one of its Mystery Figures.
For children!
Yay!
I got DEATH.
…
His sister got a fairy.

incorrigiblerobot:

A friend of ours took her two kids, a boy and a girl, to the toy store to buy some Playmobil Mystery Figures. As the name implies, it’s a Playmobil character but you don’t know what you’re going to get. Could be anything! Very exciting.

The boy, as kids do, had already decided he was sure he was going to get some specific figure - I’m not sure what, but it was a knight or pirate or something else that 6-year-olds like.

This is what he got.

It’s Death.

That’s right. Playmobil includes Death as one of its Mystery Figures.

For children!

Yay!

I got DEATH.

His sister got a fairy.

"Lindvall’s performance as host will inevitably be compared to her forebear, Heidi Klum, but that’s not fair, as they each have their own distinct qualities. Heidi Klum is puckish, incisive, poised, and funny, while Angela Lindvall is the host of Project Runway All Stars."

“Return To The Runway” | Project Runway All Stars | TV Club | TV | The A.V. Club

I mainly pay about 1/4th attention to Project Runway when it’s on in the background, but I still love reading John Teti’s reviews. I’m disappointed to hear he’s taking a break, but you know, I’d rather not kill people due to fatigue.

"Just as House of Pain gives hip hop fans the means to jump around, the jam-packed menu at the International House of Pancakes allows breakfast lovers to tap into their most ravenous desires"

WagJag - $10 for $20 towards Dining at IHOP in Niagara Falls

I don’t even know what to say about this one…

So I was going to write a brief thing complaining about the new Subway/Xbox contest in Canada where one of the prizes is 100 Microsoft Points, which is ridiculous because everything on Xbox is denominated in multiples of 80 MSP (= 1USD) or occasionally 40 MSP, and clearly some Subway marketing exec said “We can’t give away 80 points! That’s not a nice round number!” Then I won 100 Microsoft Points, so I’ll just shut up now.

merlin:

I got the “Spot” cake
No words.

As someone who anxiously awaited the publication of Spot Bakes a Cake back when I worked at The Children’s Bookstore, this is the greatest post ever.

merlin:

I got the “Spot” cake

No words.

As someone who anxiously awaited the publication of Spot Bakes a Cake back when I worked at The Children’s Bookstore, this is the greatest post ever.

"Of course, even the most ardent of Rampage defenders have to admit that the game gets very, very repetitive from there, a brainless procession of smash-and-grab missions that is, nevertheless, way better than talking to your dumb parents. Oh, you want me to mow the lawn, Dad? THIS SOLDIER IS YOU AND NOW I AM EATING YOU."

Incredibly repetitive video game Rampage to become incredibly derivative movie | Film | Newswire | The A.V. Club

ksawyerpaul:

Use Helvetica whenever possible

ksawyerpaul:

Use Helvetica whenever possible

(Source: ksawyerpaul)

Keep in mind, Xbox Live is a service where people pay sixty actual, real, human dollars to access it.

popculturemulcher:

I was in a game lobby last night that contained the following gamertags:

TURDCUTTER23
LestersBalls
twigg n beries
turdmachine998
bigredclownbush
POOP IN UR PIE 666

And featured the musical stylings of a very drunk southern girl rapping, “Bitches ain’t shit  but hos and tricks.” Over and over and over and over again. 

Cyberpunk novels all lead me to believe there would be more sexy hackers and glowing information at this point and less… POOP IN UR PIE.

I figure the reason I don’t play a lot of FPS games, especially in random lobbies is that I’d lose even quicker by spending all my time in the File Complaint screen rather than playing…

Tags: xbox live

I don't blame her

  • Jessica: Well, there sure isn't a lot at theatres that I want to see for date night, unless we go see Drive again at the Princess Twin.
  • Me: WOO! ROBOT BOXING
  • Me: -- NPR
  • Jessica has signed out
"If there were a late-night comedy show completely run by comedy writers, without any interference from a host, producer, or network, that show would probably be called The Darkest and Most Impossibly Horrible Things You Can Imagine, Presented as Comedy. Every sketch would end with a gunshot or an infant’s stroller engulfed in flames, and the show would be canceled halfway through its opening titles. That’s because most comedy writers are so inured by humor that only the most shockingly toxic ideas can achieve the proper velocity to penetrate their indifference."

Conan writer Todd Levin on how jokes die, for GOOD Magazine “Just Like That but Funny”

I like nice jokes that make me feel nice.

(via lonelysandwich)

Tags: comedy writing